Sometimes I am dismayed. 6 years. So much has changed, yet so little. I still feel the need to curb my expression, heck - now more than ever. I have exciting news that is months old, but don't feel like I can share it here - and that's one of the things I miss the most.
I have been a little squirrel, hiding away kernels of my existance, only sharing when absolutely needed, if I feel I can do so.
I made a bad decision today and ate some S P I C Y chilli and lime corn chips. I am still craving them, but my mouth - oh, my mouth is still tingling, hours and hours later.
Damn cravings. I would love grilled cheese and pickles. I neeeeed grilled cheese and pickles.
I forgot how much on-call work affected my sleep schedule. Lord and lady, I hate being up all night.
I am weaning myself off of sugar and it is hell, on top of the awkward sleep and work schedule.
I am celebrating a very important 1-year anniversary in a week and a bit. I am not sure what to do for it, just yet. I want to go out for a nice meal, or do something I haven't done before.
Up and down, up and down.
I helped make some amazing cakes today. I have made hundreds of cookies in the last few weeks.
We have a food festival coming up and last year my boss sold 22 dozen a day. Holy. Crap.
We're going to be starting prep weeks early, ordering huge amounts of base stock so that we're not running out while making enormous amounts of food that sells like hotcakes.
It is lovely working for a business that ethically and morally aligns with me. I have so many ideas for foods to cook with Judgement. I made the most decadent moussaka yesterday, and I want a night every fortnight where we have home-made lasagna or moussaka, home-made garlic and olive loaves... delicious.
The constant sweets, candy bars and cakes from work give me so much energy, but I can't sleep for hours after eating them. I need to work on balancing my food more, or going for a jog to burn off the sugar-high. I'm meant to be starting boxing/kickboxing soon. Sugar may be handy for that. Heh.
After years, I have started writing again. I am getting overwhelmingly positive feedback from the platform, which is lovely. I shove down that side of myself, I ignore it, and I try "focus on more important things". Do you know what I've learnt from this?
It doesn't help me.
It's not helpful for me to just ignore my need to make things. It doesn't give positive results, it just compounds my issues.
I'm taking up embroidery soon, and I am excited for that. Creative writing is good, but I like having something that I can be doing more with my hands, weaving colours together instead of words.
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